I promise that my life is about more than just junk food. Seriously.

 But it's mostly about Buckeyes and Saltine Brittle.

First, for Buckeyes, we blend some butter, some peanut butter and powdered sugar until we have a sweet play-doh*

 Then use a cookie scoop or a tablespoon to roll out balls.

 Place them on parchment paper lined sheets. You could also use wax paper, foil or even saran wrap since these are not going in the oven.

 Melt some chocolate chips in a bowl. Most recipes and old timers will tell you that true buckeyes are coated in a mixture of chocolate melted with paraffin. The paraffin keeps the chocolate from sagging at room temperate. I took a tip from the recipe in the Christmas issue of Cook's Country magazine and used chocolate chips, because they contain stabilizers that help them naturally hold a shape.

 Until it's just barely melted, before it gets grainy.

 Look at them. Staring at you. They know where you hid the bodies.

This is what real buckeyes look like. They do NOT taste like Chocolate and peanut butter.

And then there's the Ohio State mascot. Which is a buckeye. Which is pretty amazing.

 And I was in such sugary delirium after making buckeyes, that I forgot to photograph the process of the Saltine brittle. I got all the way to spreading the chocolate on top when I remembered.

 After it's been in the freezer, you can pick the whole thing up at once.

 And break it into pieces.

 This reminds me of all the scenes in breaking bad when they're pouring the meth into cookie sheets and then it cracks.

 The little residual crumbs will make awesome ice cream topping!!!

And then you will sit in front of your mega-cheesy, plug-in, electric fireplace and be tempted to eat all of both batches.**

Buckeyes
1 stick of butter
1 cup of creamy peanut butter
powdered sugar
1 bag of chocolate chips

- place softened butter and peanut butter in a bowl and blend. gradually add powdered sugar until you get a play-doh consistency.
- roll into tablespoon sized balls and place on a cookie sheet lined with something to keep them from sticking.
- place in fridge for about an hour to allow them to harden up a little.
-melt chocolate chips in double boiler until just barely melted
- dunk each ball about half-way up the sides. place in fridge again to cool the chocolate off.

Saltine Brittle
40 Saltine crackers
2 sticks of butter
1 cup of brown sugar
1 bag of chocolate chips

- preheat oven to 400 F. place crackers on a parchment paper lined cookie sheet (the kind with the lip, might be called a "jelly-roll pan" in some parts)
- cook butter and sugar together in a saucepan over the stove until boiling. Boil 3 minutes.
- pour over crackers and place in oven for 5 minutes.
- pull out of oven and sprinkle with chocolate chips. return to oven for 1 minute
- pull out of oven and spread chocolate until it's an even layer, all over the crackers. cool on counter top for about 15 minutes, then transfer to freezer.
- break into pieces.

I would recommend storing both treats in the fridge

* orginally made in Cincinnati, by the fine folks @ Kenner Toys! (who also invented nerf guns, easy bake ovens, maufactured the my little ponies and created the one and only Blythe Dolls.)
** both recipes actually made way more than this, but this is all that I'm letting Ryan take to work.